The Unnoficial Ari Mannis blog

Reaction to Tom Green

arimannis — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 19:59:08 +0000

Funny AlbumBase news.

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:59:16 +0000

For those of you who do not know, I am a link/forum moderator on the popular album downloading site AlbumBase.com So anyway as the site grows, I need moderation help so I posted a thread in the forum requesting volunteers to help, http://forum.albumbase.com//showthread.php?tid=7158

As you can see I have gotten many responses, and if you read I think you can agree I chose the proper people, the most loyal active members, not new people who joined just for the position, if you read my post, you will realize that was what I was looking for.

So anyway I thought I would share with you all and angry email I received from someone who was denied the position and my response to his message.

Email:
So is this like an inside circle of friends thing ??? Where noob’s are even considered cuz nobody knows who they are ??? Why did you bother to ask the general population if 99.44% are not worthy of helping out ???

Try seeing this from the outside in ??? The only two being considered are already mods here. So why didn’t you make your request internally, if they were the only ones you would wind up considering.

My Response:
No this is not an inside circle of friends, actually you should read up on your facts before emailing me, out of the two people considered so far neither are moderators, they are just active members. I never said that the non active members are not worthy of helping out, however I did say that the position would go to the people I think would be best for the position and are AlbumBase contributers. So thanks for you interest but after this ignorant email you can consider yourself not in the race to be Link Mod.

Spelling Mistake

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:58:51 +0000

So its a late Friday, just got back from a long movie night with some manribs (I have decided to lower case that word, as females are not equivalent to us Men), so I think to myself, wow I have not written in a long time, what should I post for my loyal 2-3 fan’s. So I go ahead and check my email and it appears that someone has commented my trip to china town on my daily comedy blog http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/2958 , wow I’m excited, what does someone have to say about my work, because I really care what other people think of it. Here is the comment rnMariarn“You should probably learn how to spell Korean if you’re going to make fun of them for not being able to read.”rnrnWell as many of my loyal readers know I can give a shit about spelling, and in my opinion who gives a shit, as long as the readers understand what I am trying to say, that’s all that matters, right? Who gets to invent the spelling for Korean anyway, why should it be spelled that way, as apposed to mine, should we all have to follow societies spelling rules, I think not. Although I did go back and correct my spelling error, could Maria just not have told me privately instead of trying to embarrass me in front of the comedic community, is she that cold hearted of a person? Well here is your answer, she herself is Korean, and she was offended by my incredible words of wisdom. So here is my response, if you don’t like my spelling go back to China Ping-Pong! This is America we spell how we want.

My trip to China Town

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:58:28 +0000

So I just got back from China Town, or Asia Town, not really sure, all I know is there were many pointy eyes, anyway I learned something there, and thought id share it with you all, so I was on the train and a little Chinese girl started crying, it was so weird, Chinese babies cry just like our American babies, I don’t know I always thought, that we were the only ones who cried, it was just a weird thing to hear. So I didn’t know what to do, finally I just got up, and I said “Stop crying ching chong I’m trying to read”, because here in America we know how to read. For some reason I got all these disturbing looks from all the pandas in the train, pshh like they could understand what I was saying, I was talking in English. Then some ching chong panda on the train, stands up and says “were not Chinese were Korean.” Um hello there ping-pong its the same thing.

English Assignment - Reflection

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:57:50 +0000

This is a homework assignment I received from my English teacher, I just finished it what do you think?Response should be at least one page double-spaced. Respond thoughtfully.

1. Recall a situation in which you felt controlled by fear. Explain.

From what I remember, I have never really been controlled by fear, I am fearless, real men are not controlled by anyone, or anything but I could have been afraid as a child I do not remember, and to be honest, if I was controlled by fear, I would not admit it to you, ManRib.

Actually here’s a fear, I fear you without clothes, I fear seeing your fat ass camel toe naked, I’m hiding under my pillow just thinking about it.

2. Why do/did you have this fear? What created it? (Speculate if you aren’t sure.)

Why do I have this fear, hmm well every time I see a fat chick where tight jeans, the way you do, I just get this fear, of what if I have to see them naked? Its quite disturbing in my mind, I guess you can blame yourself for this fear.

3. Is it a rational fear? Explain your reasoning.

Yes id have to say this fear is very rational, I’m quite sure just about every person in all of Torrey pines that has seen you walk throughout the campus has this fear.

4. How does/did your fear impact your behavior (both in the situation and in general)?

In a situation where I have to talk to you, it impacts my behavior, I’m afraid to look at you, and I’m afraid to talk to you, as you might get some sexual vibe and get naked, in general when you are not around it does not affect me

Freshman game

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:56:53 +0000

Ok so I have invented a sweet game, well you see I am a junior, however I am in a few freshman classes such as geometry and Spanish one, so I consider myself to know more freshman than most other juniors, anyway being a junior in freshman classes really gives me a strong feeling of superiority, I just feel so above everyone else in those classes, like I could do anything I don’t care there just freshman. “I’m a freshman and I know tons of juniors.�? Shut the fuck up ManRib, that’s because you go to a private school, at private schools everyone knows everyone, so don’t try to get smart with me by emailing me your smart ass responses, freshman bitch.

So here is the game or activity whatever you want to call it. Whenever ever I see a freshman either walking by or me waking by them, I try and scare them, they won’t see me, or sometimes they even do but they don’t expect this, as they walk by or the other way around, I jump in front of them, and yell ablaablalala, basically yell gibberish in there face, and freak the crap out of them, while embarrassing them at the same time, I must say the response is quite rewarding, and I have found this to be very fun, I recommend you try it. Now you will get the occasional cocky freshman male, “what you want to fight dude.�? Basically this makes them sound like an idiot after I sock them in the face, and then they make an excuse to why they can not fight; you might get the occasional ManRib who flips her bitch switch (meaning she is on her period) “shut up Ari,�? you shut up freshy, don’t make me make you cry in front of your friends ManRib, because you know I will do it, shuts them up real quick, Anyways that’s basically what I have to share with you all, have fun trying it out.

She’s the Man

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:54:33 +0000

Well it was a Sunday night, bored out of my mind like usual, so off of the suggestion of two ManRib’s in my math class I downloaded the movie She’s the Man and let me spare you two hours, now before watching the movie I had seen the previews, and it looked like the stupidest piece of shit, but even I the Ari has been fooled before. So I started the movie, the first few minutes started with Amanda Bines, from now on I will refer to as flatty, so anyway it shows how flatties soccer team is in big trouble boo hoo, now this really pissed me off, because ManRibs’s do not play soccer, they kick a ball around, so anyway flatty goes out and tries to make a Man’s soccer team, which in real life would be impossible, as ManRib’s are slower, weaker, and less of a person than us men, anyway it was a movie, so I’d let the director have her make believe fun, basically the whole time watching this predictable sack of crap, I was wondering why I was still watching it, but I always stick it out until the end, so of course struggles in the beginning, makes the team, people find out she’s a ManRib and then they forgive her. After watching this I think I might go out and rent all copies of this movie, then burn them in the store, laughing historically while saving many people from this terrible movie.

Basically after reading this I hope I have saved you all from watching this ManRibish predictable bag of dog shit on fire.

Definition of ManRib = Any female/girl

History of ManRib = Eve was made from Adams rib, which means she is a ManRib, which in turn means all females are ManRib’s, this word was created by the great Ari.

Heres a picture of flatty

Stupid girly girls

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:53:51 +0000

So today I go to Spanish, I’m handing out books, and this one stupid bitch is like, so how did you break your arm? So I answer, I fell snowboarding. Her response is, probably fell off your computer. (Yes you stupid bitch I was sitting on top of my computer and I rolled off.) Yeah I make websites; I guess that means I spend all my time on my computer. You see what she did not remember is that I am her myspace friend, and let me tell you, she spends the most time on a computer I have ever seen, she posts bulletins every 5 minutes, comments people a million times a day and she has the nerve to make a joke about me being on the computer. So I say, lets see you spend more time than me on the computer doing myspace, how much money a month do you make from that? Oh you make nothing, yeah that’s what I thought, and well I make 120 a month for using myspace. Oh what now.

So then her stupid fat ass friend who where’s hott people clothes says, “you probably fell off your computer hehehehe. My response: yeah haven’t you done that a million times, oh wait you couldn’t have you ate your computer didn’t you. Fat ass, go eat a cupcake.

So long story short she cried, I laughed the end.

Stupid Myspace thing, this is how bored I am.

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:53:03 +0000

1. When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?
Actor, Rock star, Athlete, Power Ranger, Male Prostitute, you know normal kid stuff

2. What was your favorite toy when you were little?
I liked toy cars, dildos, the same stuff you play with while reading about me. I still like all the same stuff.

3. How did you meet your friends?
school, sports, wild sex parties..

4. Broke any bones or had any freaky accidents as a kid?
No broken bones, I’m to strong, and everyone else is to weak.

5. Were you mean or nice?
Wtf do you think? nice of course, still am.

6. Random memory from when you were a kid:
Shitting in peoples backyards, I’m not kidding.

Quotes

arimannis — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:52:31 +0000

#1 I don’t make friends with fat people, because if they can’t take care of themselves then how are they supposed to take care of me when I need them.