Off to London England to perform for the first time over there.  This will be exciting and we are going to shoot videos and have some good times...  This has been a much needed break from the tour.  I think I was getting a bit exhausted and just needed to shut down for a second.  Now I am starting to itch to get back on the road.  I have been really really enjoying being up on stage.  Doing this tour and this comedy show has been amazing. 

I have decided I am going to start blogging more regularly here at The Channel.  I have slowed down a bit with the blogging this year while I was figuring out my show.  I like to focus on things.  I think now that I am in a rhythym doing stand up I want to start to document the process. We have been shooting all of my sets and are cutting together a DVD documentary film movie whatever you want to call it.  But I think I also want to start putting some of this up on the web.  Just so you guys can get a vibe for what I am doing onstage.  I have hesitated to do this up until now, just because I really wanted to find the right tone.  I think I have a pretty nice little edit we are getting ready which will show you the kind of fun I have been having on the road and on stage this year.

I have been writing every day coming up with new ideas for the show.  It has been in a constant state of flux.  It has been getting better and better and I have been having more and more fun.  It is nice to stay on the road this hard and get this comfortable onstage.  I'm now at a place where I want to start getting much more experimental with the material.  But the video I am posting this week will give you a good idea of what it is I have been doing on the road.  I want you all to know what to expect from my standup so you can be prepared when you come to my shows.  And I really really want you to come!

So I will probably post this video late in the day tomorrow.  And I will begin blogging and posting video far more often.  So come back to The Channel every day, and tell all your pals to do the same. 

Cheers gang!

Tom Green

So I am in Maui for the first time in my life.  It is an adventure.  Being in a place that I have never been before is always exciting to me.  And Maui of course isn't much of a problem.  Wowie Maui.  I'm excited to explore the island and videotape some fun pieces for The Channel here at www.tomgreen.com - We will be posting new stuff all week.  Tune in!

If you haven't added me on Twitter yet please do at @Tomgreenlive - I am starting to have some fun with that tool.  It's a good way of letting everybody know when we will be going on the air.  We will be starting up with some more LIVE broadcasts soon.  I am excited about that. 

It has been a great year of exploring the world, and exploring Stand Up Comedy as a full time occupation.  I have been on stage every night and having a blast.  This really is probably the most fun I have ever had.  There is something about getting up on stage in front of a LIVE audience that I enjoy more than almost anything else.  Almost anything.  It is that much fun. :)

Also, I know I have been blogging less frequently as of late.  I just wanted to let you all know that everything is alright.  I just feel that sometimes, for the benefit of us all, it is best to take a step back.  It's nice sometimes to shift gears, try something else for a minute, and then come back to the Web TV show with fresh eyes, and a new perspective.  Now after having done Stand Up Comedy full time for almost a full year, I think the Web show is going to be that much more fun.  There is a different rhythm to stand up.  I have learned quite a lot this year actually.  It has been an amazing ride.

I will never stop doing stand up comedy after this year.  I love it.  This is something that I will be doing for the rest of my life.

Good times Gang!  Just wanted to check in and wish you all well.  And I wanted you all to know, that I am doing AMAZING!  I really am having an awesome time, I am very happy, and this is definitely turning out to be one of the most exciting times of my life.  Let's keep on doing fun webovision here at www.tomgreen.com The Channel and thank you all once again for your continued loyalty to this cause.  Indy TV or die.

Aloha!

Tom Green

I just wanted to pop on real quick and thank everyone I've met this year.  What a fun and incredible trip it has been.  This weekend I am off to Washington DC for 4 shows.  Then Maui.  Then London England.  Vancouver.  We are gonna keep this train rollin.  And it is continuing to be a blast.  Come find me on the road and lets have a ridiculous night.

I've been really enjoying performing and writing this comedy show.  Good times!  And things are continuing to grow and improve every week.  How cool was this?  We have travelled the world together and posted tons of video here at the channel.  Australia, Canada, and most of the USA.  We've been everywhere this year.  And next month our first big show in London England.  Lets make it happen in the UK.  I can't wait to see everyone out there.

I know a lot of you around the world have wanted to see more programming here at the website.  We will be back.  We are working with some new people in the advertising world to expand Tomgreen.com and take things to the next level.  I want to do things right around here.  I also have been focusing on the standup comedy and building that. 

We have some great new people working at tomgreen.com now, and you will continue to see changes and improvements around here.  The subscription service has been doing very well, and is keeping The Channel alive and kicking.  Sign up today and get access to hundred of hours of crazy footage that can only be seen here in our archives.

If you are on the east coast of the USA, come see me in Washington DC this weekend!  Let's have some fun.  I will check in with all of you more frequently soon.

And stay tuned next week.  We will be broadcasting some fun stuff from Maui and performing an exciting one night only show at a theater on the island!  Aloha!

Lots coming up in the next few weeks.  Stay tuned!  Watch the front page of the website for updates.  Rock on!  :)

Tom

I am writing this to you all from a distant planet in the future.  I’m still very angry about that oil explosion in the Gulf of Mexico. Those in the media who called it a leak were liars.   It was an eruption.  A volcano of oil that we created that we couldn’t plug.

Were we all crazy?  Or did we just lose control of the reigns?  Or were we just a greedy species that wanted too much?  We just wanted everything we could possibly have and we consumed and consumed and consumed until we basically killed ourselves.  We pricked a hole in the floor of the ocean that began to uncontrollably gush oil until the sea turned black and we all died.

But we had cars and that was really cool.  And we could fly airplanes and stuff.  So our species was intelligent, you know.  We invented cell-phones, so we could call people from anywhere, not just a land-line.  And we had big screen TV’s so we could watch TV, but just bigger.  We had satellite radio.  We had microwave ovens.  We had it all.

We were an amazing species us human beings.  We invented weapons that could blow up the world.  We spent our entire lives angry at other countries and cultures.  We worked our entire lives to make money so we could give it to our governments so they could build weapons.  And we were afraid of everybody who was from somewhere else.  And we never knew if another group of humans from another country was going to invade and kill us or drop a bomb on us or launch a missile at us, or some other crazy thing. 

We were always arguing with each other.  Not exactly with each other but we would elect politicians to do the arguing for us.  So we wouldn’t have to do it ourselves.  Then they would send our young people to go fight and kill each other in wars.  So the politicians didn’t have to do it themselves.

And we made all this money and we all had cars and we burned oil and made computers out of plastic which were made from oil and we just needed so much oil that we eventually couldn’t get enough of it for cheap enough so we started drilling holes into the center of the earth underneath the ocean and one of them erupted that we couldn’t recap and the ocean was destroyed.  And since marine plants in the ocean create between 70-80 percent of the earth’s oxygen, we all died. 

But we were pretty intelligent because we had text messaging.  We could use little typewriters on our phones to communicate with other people without having to speak to them.   And we had facebook so we could socialize with friends without ever having to see them or talk to them.  We gave away all of our privacy because big corporations convinced us that it was popular to do so.  We did all this and a lot more really intelligent stuff.

Then we pricked a hole in the only earth we had, like it was a zit, and we killed ourselves…   And we all died, like idiots. 

And that was what happened.   Wishing you best from the future and goodnight.

We are all selfish.  Myself included. 

We are really mostly concerned about things that affect us.  Since most of us don’t live on or visit the coast we don’t get outraged when they drill off shore.  Those that live on the coast allow it to happen also.  Because of the money the oil industry brings into the areas.  We all allow it to happen because it makes our economy stronger.  If the economy is stronger then we all get more money so we can buy fancy things.  Like computers, cars, cell phones and big screen TV’s.  You know, important stuff like that.

Of course we want these things because they have been sold to us.  And we have been hypnotized into buying them by commercials in the media we created.

I really like my cell phone.  It is convenient.  But there are things I don’t like about it.  And honestly, if everyone else didn’t have one, then I wouldn’t need one either.  We created a system where we need them.  We are doing this to ourselves.  We are so wired onto this television grid that we don’t even know what we really want any more.  We just want what we see on TV.

Even our humor is changing.  We laugh at the charisma of these sarcastic punks that get thrust in our faces by the media, as long as they tow the corporate line.   As long as they don’t ever do anything too polarizing or controversial they can keep being thrust on the unsuspecting public.  So we get a bunch of clean cut, wannabe elitists, pretending to be sarcastic punks so twelve to fourteen year olds can believe there is some anarchy left in the world.  There isn’t.

We are being lied to.  There is not one single voice in the media today that doesn’t have some form of boss that is critiquing analyzing and editing their every word.  Before and after they sit down in front of their cameras and their microphone, there is a producer, who works for an executive producer, who works for an executive, who works for a C.E.O.  And every single god damned thought that comes out of everybody’s mouth on these TV stations and in these movies is picked over with a fine-toothed comb.  If anyone starts speaking their mind, you might not see them on that TV or in the movies anymore.  It is a game that our modern day electronic jokers and jesters must play.  How can I best mimic and play and still do what I am told so I can keep my job long enough to pay for that stuff that I want to buy.  There is far less “art” there than you would ever suspect. 

And I am talking about comedy.  The people we see on the news are dealing with a whole other level of puppetry I’m sure.  They are just reading television prompters and saying what has been deemed acceptable for the filthy masses to hear.  And determined by who you might ask?  Not by some evil eye in the sky, but instead by an out of control bureaucracy. 

The good news is this is something we can change.  We can change this in our lifetime.  Essentially what we have to do is believe in our power as a society of people, and collectively we should call everybody out on their fucking bullshit.   Stop believing what you are told you are supposed to believe and make up your own mind.  But understand that you are being manipulated. 

We need to become more media literate as a society, and understand, that what we see on TV is never true, and not real.  We need to understand how television works.  This thing that we created which is controlling all of our thoughts and most of the information we input into our brains.  We should understand it better.  Especially since it is an editorialized version of what is supposedly real. 

As a society we need to learn to read between the lines and figure out what is really going on in the world.  Pay attention to what is actually happening in our oceans, and our forests, and our cherished wilderness and world in which we live.  Don’t just take somebody else’s word for it.  Don’t just believe what you see on the tube.

Can we stop being amazed by the things like Ipods, Mp3’s, Google, Facebook, and 3dTV’s?  (It’s the digital revolution!  Yippee it’s a big deal! We don’t listen to records anymore!)  Must we continue to get excited with every new gadget, wing-ding, I-pad and American Idol that is thrust in our face?  

This is the conspiracy of our time.  We have been sucked into the digital vortex.  To a point where we don’t even own our own selves.  Google and Facebook own our information.  They know what we we buy, what we think, what we think we want to buy.  And guess what, in a few minutes you will buy it.  They are going to tell you what you need, and they are going to give you cheap credit to get it.  The media says you need a sixteen hundred dollar purse because Kim Kardashian has one and if you don’t have it you are not going to feel good about yourself.  

And unfortunately folks, this is all true.

So we continue to be amazed by how far we have come in the digital world, but not stop to question whether we know how to plug the oil spewing holes that we are drilling in our oceans?

Nobody knows how to plug an oil gushing hole in the ocean?  Wow.  But we all assumed that somebody out there did. 

We should probably start assuming the worst more.  We need to understand that if something idiotic could happen, it probably will.  We need to be aware that our governments are not going to protect us from the un-expected.  We need to understand that the governments of the world are bureaucracies out of control.  The people that work in them are more concerned about keeping their jobs and getting re-elected than predicting disasters.  They couldn’t predict their way out of a paper bag. 

And the same thing goes for the folks in the media.  They are all caught up in the rat race.   If somebody a year ago suggested on TV that we might not be able to stop an oil leak, they would have been laughed at.

I’m going to change my behavior because of this oil leak.  I’m going to start questioning things around me a bit more.  I think we all should.  If you’re with me, lets make a change together.  Let’s figure out how to take control of our world.  Let’s change the system in our lifetime.  Let’s go.

We are all marching along in the same direction.  We all take our orders and do what we are told.  And thank heavens for that.  We certainly wouldn’t want anyone questioning anything?  Not in this oh so perfect world that we are living in.

Wow.  Nobody ever thought that if we punched a hole in the floor of the ocean and it started gushing oil that we wouldn’t be able to plug it up?  Nobody ever asked?  Of course we didn’t, we just assumed it would be fine.  And besides, if a problem ever occurred, surely somebody else who was far smarter would figure something out.

I am starting to think there may not be anyone far smarter.  I am starting to think that the people out there who run things may in fact be pretty stupid.  But I am also coming to the conclusion that it is not their fault.

I think the system is flawed.  Around the world we elect people into government who are desperate to get attention.   And these elected attention seeking personality types need to stay in office.  So they of course have to say what needs to be said in order to make the most people happy.  And of course the people with the loudest voices in the media have to agree.  And the ones with the loudest voices usually have the deepest pockets.  So no politician would ever want to disagree with these people.  Not if he ever wanted to get elected.

So we march down this merry path with not a peep being uttered by a single crying soul.  We just watch and wait as if like lambs waiting to be slaughtered.  Sure, go ahead and drill four thousand or so holes in the ocean that could potentially spew oil uncontrollable and destroy the planet.  No problem.  It probably won’t affect me anyway.  Besides, I like my car and my fancy things.  That’s what I am supposed to like right?   This is all they ever show us on TV.

I just need an I-pad, an I-pod, and an I-phone.  What the hell else could I possibly need? 

What happens if they cannot stop the oil leak?  It is a mile beneath the surface.  What happens if this is the beginning of many more oil-rigs wearing out, and beginning to spew?  What happens if they all started leaking and we couldn’t stop a single one?  Would this be the end of the world?  Is it possible that we could have been the stupidest species in the history of the universe?  Oh those earthlings were crazy, they pricked a hole in their own planet and killed themselves.  The burned fuel until the only planet they had was destroyed.  They were selfish and they didn’t care about anyone but themselves and eventually they all died.  What a bunch of morons.

And don’t call me a liberal, because I am not a fucking liberal.  I just happen to love this country, and the world, and I think all of you do as well.  Let’s not ruin it just because we are hypnotized by the system and can’t do what is obviously right.

So here's the deal.  I've been doing some thinking over the past few months and I've come to this conclusion.  It's time to get moving and I want to bring you all along for the ride.  There is too much comedy being wasted in this crazy city that I think I have to bring you folks in on it. 

Los Angeles is a hilarious place, crazy things happen all the time, we only live once, and of course we are all running out of time.  ;) 

No but seriously, I am going to begin to let you folks into a few more layers of my life, and this crazy world we have created up here at The Channel.  Let's have some fun now, before something really crazy happens.  Like the internet gets shut off and none of us can talk to each other any more.  That could happen and it would not be fun.

I am also really excited by a few new cameras that have been introduced into the world.  We are going to begin shooting with them on Monday, and as we move forward, we will be shooting far more regularly.   I want to play a game with you all.  I want to start getting far more interactive, on a regular basis.  I want to begin a conversation with you all now.  I have too many things that I am trying to figure out in my life, and in this world, and I would like to enlist your support. 

I want to start getting a bit more real around here.I want to start talking with all of you more.  Share your thoughts and I will be sharing mine.  Tune in all this week at The Channel, and let me know what you think about everything we have going on.  It's going to be a interesting couple of weeks. 

Your pal,Tom

Australians rock.  I have a pretty warped sense of humor obviously, and I have done a lot of crazy things over the years in films, and on TV, and on the web.  It was a really exciting to come all the way over to the other side of the world, and to meet so many enthusiastic fans of my work.  I've devoted the greater part of my life now to this crazy idea, that you don't have to have rules in comedy.  That we as human beings should be able to express ourselves in the silliest ways we can contemplate, and not be punished for it.  I have not always fared so well.  But I have had many successes along the way that I am proud of.  This tour in Australia was a celebration of those successes and I want to say thanks.  In a nutshell, every single one of the shows over here was packed to the rafters with screaming, laughing, and howling punters who came to have a ridiculous night.  

It was amazing to have thousands of people converge at these shows, with DVD's like Something Smells Funny, Tonsil Hockey, Freddy Got Fingered, and all my Comedy Network shows that I shot almost 15 years ago.  Just like at my shows in Canada and the USA people over here know about The Slutmobile when I painted my parents car, or The Bum Bum  Song, or The Mustard Inspector, or X-Ray Cat, or Crack Baby Don't Come Back, The Canterbury Tales, Billy Bob's Caramels, Walk With A Swagger, It's Time To Clean The City, and tons of other bits that I couldn't imagine traveling as far across the globe as they have.  It has been a very happy experience for me.  And after having such a positive and successful tour I know now that I will be back.